tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47942793037052268292024-03-05T09:55:18.883-08:00Fascinating WaysKristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-70192062733340112182012-08-22T04:31:00.002-07:002012-08-22T04:31:24.954-07:00Scripture Memorization<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5oumUSBi1rOiD8jt0qc8BQEmzuYsqCZvT8EHbfmRKVioPuKmKU6tdI5qs6E1fdeiXYMjGrJ-WKSUsvj9z_kwSmzZkAoB_R8bYsLRelwcKVuMaWMKraU8RZNJ99LNdyIyG9gM7nduKjBmY/s1600/BL_grandmothers_cookbook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5oumUSBi1rOiD8jt0qc8BQEmzuYsqCZvT8EHbfmRKVioPuKmKU6tdI5qs6E1fdeiXYMjGrJ-WKSUsvj9z_kwSmzZkAoB_R8bYsLRelwcKVuMaWMKraU8RZNJ99LNdyIyG9gM7nduKjBmY/s1600/BL_grandmothers_cookbook.jpg" /></a></div>
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For those who are interested in memorizing scripture, I really like the method posted by <a href="http://brookeespinoza.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Rivers of Water</a> as part of a <a href="http://brookeespinoza.blogspot.com/2012/08/new-bible-memory-challenge-coming-soon.html?showComment=1345553820246" target="_blank">new Bible memory challenge</a>.<br />
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First, she splits up verses from a particular chapter so that she's working with two verses per day. Every morning, she reads each one out loud ten times, followed by reciting it ten times. Then she writes the verses on an index card and carries the card with her during the day to look at it when she has a few moments.<br />
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I like to use a napkin holder (available at dollar stores) to hold all of our family's current flash cards. Right now, it holds alphabet cards for the youngest child, sight words cards for the oldest, and index cards full of scriptures I want to memorize for me. We go over these as part of our breakfast routine.<br />
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With Rivers of Water's memorization method, each subsequent day after the first week starts with reciting the previous week's verses ten times, then reviewing all previous verses once through, then working on that week's verses using the ten read-alouds, ten recitations method.<br />
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She has a handy table giving instructions by week in <a href="http://brookeespinoza.blogspot.com/2012/08/new-bible-memory-challenge-coming-soon.html?showComment=1345553820246" target="_blank">her post</a>.Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-37963737787548992992012-07-16T15:12:00.002-07:002012-07-16T15:12:39.105-07:00Focusing on Our Husbands<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwwc2GIsZ_Ds77GjL6tgjlcMTru9tDdIvzMZePhvmT8pQOF89WbbwL3bepYz8NWRr62TK1kA7_qVayGVimUlFXV7HA8yWTP51nI8kAmyBuroJdfg6jTV2Tqa4VF1n6WIkRDltRsvUxS46t/s1600/FWProvChallenge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwwc2GIsZ_Ds77GjL6tgjlcMTru9tDdIvzMZePhvmT8pQOF89WbbwL3bepYz8NWRr62TK1kA7_qVayGVimUlFXV7HA8yWTP51nI8kAmyBuroJdfg6jTV2Tqa4VF1n6WIkRDltRsvUxS46t/s1600/FWProvChallenge.jpg" /></a></div>
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It appears that I have broken one of my own rules in the <a href="http://fascinatingways.blogspot.com/search/label/Proverbs%2031%20Challenge%20for%20Life" target="_blank">Proverbs 31 Challenge for Life</a>. I mentioned studying one verse per <i>year</i>, but I have already posted about two different verses.<br />
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Let's go back to Proverbs 31, verse 11, for a little while. The King James Bible (Cambridge edition) gives that verse as: "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil."<br />
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One of the ways to interpret this verse is that the husband does not have to worry for one moment about his wife. He knows that she will manage the household with no waste and raise the children in the most nurturing way. Some interpretations include the idea that he trusts she will follow all the ordinances of his religion and teach them to their children.<br />
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A fascinating wife (as depicted in <a href="http://fascinatingwomanhood.net/" target="_blank">Fascinating Womanhood</a>, by Mrs. Helen Andelin) also has to trust her husband. This can be hard to do when a wife only gives her focus to her husband when there is a problem. Because it is easy to focus on the details of raising children to the
exclusion of everything else, we mothers can use many reminders to give our
best to our husbands.<br />
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One of the ways a wife can proactively focus on her husband in a positive way is to make and study a list of his best qualities. See <a href="http://fascinatingways.blogspot.com/2011/11/admiration-list.html" target="_blank">this post</a> for more.<br />
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Praying for a husband is another very effective way of focusing on him.<br />
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There are <a href="http://inspiredtoaction.com/resources/" target="_blank">many resources</a> for mothers seeking a spiritual life at a blog I really like called <a href="http://inspiredtoaction.com/" target="_blank">Inspired to Action</a>. One of the resources is a daily prayer calendar for praying for your husband. It is significant that she offers a prayer calendar not only for children but also for husbands.<br />
<br />Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-47770323918019281802012-05-16T16:15:00.000-07:002012-05-16T16:15:20.641-07:00Is a Proverbs 31 Challenge Impossible?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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In this particular phase of our family's life, I am eliminating many tasks and responsibilities in order to focus my best abilities on being there for my family. Spending is being pared down in our household as well. It feels good to get down to the essentials.<br />
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Though there seems to be tension between the pared-down way of living and the model of the Proverbs 31 woman, my recent reading on the subject has changed my thinking about that model.<br />
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Some people say that Proverbs 31 is a model of an ideal woman's life, not to be taken as something that a "regular" woman can do and be every day of every year of her life. A twist on this thought is the idea that the characteristics of the Proverbs 31 wife can be seen as phases in a life. In one phase, a woman is the tender mother of young children. In another phase, she weaves beautiful clothing. In another phase, she tends to a thriving small business. When thinking about ordinary lives, we realize that first, we are not perfect and cannot do everything there is to do in the world. But second, we also realize that we can't do just one thing to the exclusion of all else. Many of us are mothers, but we also keep the house and feed the family and perhaps work for pay. Some of us love to make "beautiful and useful" things, to use words from Mrs. Andelin's <i>Fascinating Womanhood</i>, but we must set aside our creations when a higher priority arises. And on and on and on. Simplifying life is necessary, but we will always have multiple roles to play.<br />
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Some people say the Proverbs 31 passage is a doting mother's advice to her son on what to look for in a perfect wife. (As the mother of sons, I admit that I would like a way-above-average wife for both of them in the future, if not a perfect one. A "<a href="http://fascinatingwomanhood.net/" target="_blank">Fascinating Girl</a>!") She describes a model of virtue so that he has a picture of an amazing woman in mind as he searches for a life mate.<br />
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At this moment, I relate to the first idea of phases in a good life. I want to be fully present for my husband and young children. Now is the time to work hard at that. Young children need so much time and attention from a mother, and they recognize when they are not getting it. Husbands need time and attention, and it is especially important to carve out that time and to have energy for that attention when so many of a mother's resources are going to caring for the children. It is not a pretty picture of family life to have him be last in everyone's affections; nor is it fair. As children need less time and fewer things done for them, there is naturally more time to put to financial earning and stewardship and service to others. (Do children need less time as they get older? I have to confess I'm not sure, as mine are still young. There will come a time, though, when children strike off on their own, and in preparation, they must be given increasingly greater responsibility.)<br />
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Yet we can strive to add good practices in our lives, one at a time, as slowly as necessary. Perhaps this is a way that the <a href="http://fascinatingways.blogspot.com/search/label/Proverbs%2031%20Challenge%20for%20Life" target="_blank">Proverbs Challenge for Life</a> can be used. I, for one, need to be reminded to take on small bits of changes rather than trying to change an entire area of my life in one week. The same thing goes for trying to change several areas at once rather than one or two at a time.<br />
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How do you read Proverbs 31? Does it seem impossible? Is it inspirational?Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-27650774148044230652012-05-07T15:20:00.002-07:002012-05-07T15:20:47.146-07:00Small Moments of Beauty<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDYmmb1iyRSRHfn9z28kxmeocXCjRRmaAqEj9kif_jqy_0SdnvqJqmWIU6RzJ1OiEPRRzG9EX_cQ76gRg3fbvFLbeVpXtd1HjtRuhbaqHqYRLcrffnoRex0G95UEUOFKY1QWVXWBCTBmV_/s1600/SAM_0574.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDYmmb1iyRSRHfn9z28kxmeocXCjRRmaAqEj9kif_jqy_0SdnvqJqmWIU6RzJ1OiEPRRzG9EX_cQ76gRg3fbvFLbeVpXtd1HjtRuhbaqHqYRLcrffnoRex0G95UEUOFKY1QWVXWBCTBmV_/s320/SAM_0574.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Small moments of beauty in a day:<br />
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<ul>
<li>a child falling asleep "accidentally," on the couch</li>
<li>birds chirping outside</li>
<li>soft classical music to serenade a sleeping child </li>
<li>a baby's laughter</li>
<li>the first "I love you"</li>
<li>the sound of a husband tenderly saying his wife's name</li>
<li>finding treasures at a library or garage sale </li>
<li>a calm spirit while listening to a preschooler's chat</li>
<li>a smile</li>
</ul>Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-1860397442595355722012-05-02T18:38:00.000-07:002012-05-02T18:38:46.548-07:00Read-aloud<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguPi83ySwzce0rUTlvD5n_MpOdGzIgZW6QyVJVdb_H3SIOK-XNB2REndgy-M_7d2hbcjJPkjYBMlROyOmKB11Fyz-bq39qk6z0-hFFGGknS8aYRltdWioDDVKFrJ-E6vLIeha5RlpS8Ipd/s1600/Photo+on+5-2-12+at+8.35+PM+%232.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguPi83ySwzce0rUTlvD5n_MpOdGzIgZW6QyVJVdb_H3SIOK-XNB2REndgy-M_7d2hbcjJPkjYBMlROyOmKB11Fyz-bq39qk6z0-hFFGGknS8aYRltdWioDDVKFrJ-E6vLIeha5RlpS8Ipd/s320/Photo+on+5-2-12+at+8.35+PM+%232.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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"And best of all, their father always read to them for an hour after dinner, even though they'd been able to read perfectly well to themselves for years now."<br />
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~<i>Knight's Castle</i>, by Edward EagerKristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-80077019887842911022012-04-13T10:12:00.000-07:002012-04-13T10:12:16.885-07:00Creating a Beautiful Life<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivqvLfTfUQX_EIigAruNEnRlWI03G0uQIh2_kg7iN4w8LiewvKHuMcjyafBqT1xnK_pMzGA_2KwKoyfwhC0aZkBoBvk5UyKOTGmKPgQ1H3txNbFhLB4KrAIo581dHDU91-DqMmE3besb1E/s1600/100_2682.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivqvLfTfUQX_EIigAruNEnRlWI03G0uQIh2_kg7iN4w8LiewvKHuMcjyafBqT1xnK_pMzGA_2KwKoyfwhC0aZkBoBvk5UyKOTGmKPgQ1H3txNbFhLB4KrAIo581dHDU91-DqMmE3besb1E/s320/100_2682.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Picture taken by Lucy Lamp, flowers done by my grandmother, Kristine Lamp</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
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I have been working on a post updating my thoughts about the Proverbs 31 woman. I hope that any readers will forgive me for length between posts and taking so much time before posting again about the Proverbs 31 Challenge. The hope is that my thinking on the subject will mature until the point that I feel ready to post it.<br />
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In the meantime, here are four things that are important to teach children, in my opinion:<br />
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<ol><li>To live life with joy and gratitude.</li>
<li>To be industrious.</li>
<li>To love beauty.</li>
<li>To love people.</li>
</ol>One of the best overall ways to teach these things is to live them and be them yourself. Homemakers who do their utmost in the home, with a loving attitude, will be successful in doing this.<br />
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Writing this post, I am thinking of <a href="http://fascinatingwomanhoodak.com/2012/04/10/fwa-near-daily-encouragement-a-high-calling/" target="_blank">a recent Fascinating Womanhood~Alaska post</a> in which Mrs. Helen Andelin is quoted about doing our very best in the home. <br />
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One of the most inspiring blogs I have ever found for creating beauty and routine in the home is <a href="http://littlejennywren.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Little Jenny Wren</a>. She has been posting on her handcrafted Waldorf doll site more often than on her blog lately, but there are years of gorgeous archives to view.Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-87341911790583576492012-02-10T12:58:00.000-08:002012-02-10T12:58:07.482-08:00The Valentine Bears Book RecommendationThere is a book by Eve Bunting, illustrated by the wonderful Jan Brett, called <i>The Valentine Bears</i>. I picked it up from the library to share with my children before Valentine's Day. Reading through it, I have been inspired to romance.<br />
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Romance is about putting extraordinary effort toward pleasing your loved one. Mr. and Mrs. Bear both demonstrated a cheery willingness to inconvenience themselves in order to make a special Valentine's Day. For starters, they woke up early from hibernation to surprise each other!<br />
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It may sound silly, but the text together with the beautifully drawn pictures inspired me to go to those extra lengths for my husband. The illustrations made me want to create one of those elaborate, old-fashioned, handmade valentines for him. For examples, <a href="http://www.marthastewart.com/873639/basic-card-making-tips?czone=holiday/valentine-center/valentine-cnt-gifts&center=276967&gallery=873560&slide=873599" target="_blank">there are these cards</a> in a Martha Stewart tutorial. (Past class members of Mrs. Wayne Hunter's Fascinating Womanhood class may recognize some symbolism if they scroll to the third picture.)<br />
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Especially if you have children to read it to, <i>The Valentine Bears</i> is a nice depiction of true love.Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-91962252467350448672012-01-09T11:30:00.000-08:002012-01-09T11:30:01.600-08:00A Virtues Diary<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://secure.flickr.com/photos/mangpages/1738046362/" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2BLoHCjN2Ty9FWSUUORIqdKSy7Qz-jA6EkFzC8imX8bLD__AHv6QzLzGy8Ce2mEowCGAH0hDcX0XDT6AUsnqv-j9yrouRxYITRdyF8EsIuwM9kgUn2e5PItosMWYrVHTUxf0glGnY_FDP/s320/FWVirtues.jpg" width="320" /> Image source</a></div><br />
Becoming a woman of fine character is an essential aspect of <i>Fascinating Womanhood</i> as written by Mrs. Helen Andelin. Virtues are also addressed in her book <i>All About Raising Children</i>, in terms of instilling virtues in our children but also, very importantly, in terms of being virtuous ourselves so that our children have a wonderful example.<br />
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It can be daunting to think about attaining all the good virtues. Even if great personal progress has been made, it can be hard to maintain a fine character through the normal daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly cycles of living.<br />
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One exercise that might help keep one's mind on living out virtues is to keep a virtues diary. One can begin by purchasing or finding a notebook, journal, or diary and a pen or pencil that is comfortable for writing. A diary could also be kept on a computer if the privacy level is appropriate. Then one could write a list of virtues to ponder in the front or back cover of the book, or somewhere one will see it upon starting to journal.<br />
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One list of virtues compiled from both <i>Fascinating Womanhood</i> and <i>All About Raising Children</i> is:<br />
<ul><li>A Faith in God</li>
<li>Self Mastery</li>
<li>Honesty</li>
<li>Chastity</li>
<li>Dependability</li>
<li>Diligence</li>
<li>Love of Fellow Men / Benevolence</li>
<li>Moral Courage</li>
<li>Patience</li>
<li>Humility</li>
<li>Self Dignity</li>
<li>Unselfishness / Gentle, Tender Quality</li>
</ul>Each week, one could choose a different virtue to ponder and write about. For inspiration, one could read the pertinent sections in <i>Fascinating Womanhood</i> or <i>All About Raising Children</i>, search other resources in print or online for those virtues, or look them up in a Bible concordance.<br />
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If desired, one could set goals having to do with that virtue at the beginning of the week, and rate oneself on one's progress at the end of the week.Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-3815391444209852082011-11-30T09:05:00.000-08:002011-11-30T09:05:23.193-08:00Husband and Wife Council Meetings: Proverbs 31 Challenge for Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwwc2GIsZ_Ds77GjL6tgjlcMTru9tDdIvzMZePhvmT8pQOF89WbbwL3bepYz8NWRr62TK1kA7_qVayGVimUlFXV7HA8yWTP51nI8kAmyBuroJdfg6jTV2Tqa4VF1n6WIkRDltRsvUxS46t/s1600/FWProvChallenge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwwc2GIsZ_Ds77GjL6tgjlcMTru9tDdIvzMZePhvmT8pQOF89WbbwL3bepYz8NWRr62TK1kA7_qVayGVimUlFXV7HA8yWTP51nI8kAmyBuroJdfg6jTV2Tqa4VF1n6WIkRDltRsvUxS46t/s1600/FWProvChallenge.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<a href="http://fascinatingways.blogspot.com/2011/10/month-2-verse-12-proverbs-31-challenge.html" target="_blank">The most recent post in the Proverbs 31 Challenge for Life</a> mentioned that weekly husband-and-wife meetings could be helpful to a wife seeking to support her husband, doing him "good and not evil all the days of her life."<br />
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What would a husband-and-wife meeting look like? There is an example given in <a href="http://fascinatingways.blogspot.com/p/where-to-find-books.html" target="_blank">All About Raising Children</a>, written by Mrs. Helen Andelin.<br />
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In All About Raising Children, Mrs. Andelin suggested parents hold weekly meetings between husband and wife, with no children present. Following are some of the details she mentioned about such meetings.<br />
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<div style="color: #990000;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">When to Do It:</span></b></div><div style="color: #990000;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">The meeting takes place at a regularly scheduled time and day of the week. Sunday evening is mentioned as an example, and seems to work well for many families for whom Sunday is a traditional time to prepare for the coming school and work week.</span></span></span><b><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></b></div><div style="color: #990000;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>What to Do During It:</b></span></div><br />
During the meeting, both husband and wife can discuss plans and challenges for the family. They can also air any complaints or differences they have between them. Honest speaking and careful, objective listening allow husband and wife to come to unity while they are in private. Then they can present a united front to the children. <br />
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<div style="color: #990000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Why Do It?</b></span></div><br />
Coming to unity should be done in private so that children don't have the unsettling feeling that no one is in charge of the family. Children should not have to worry about the topics of their parents' fights, and they should never be asked to take sides in a parents' conflict. Even if they are not asked to take sides, they will feel extremely conflicted when they are exposed to these disagreements.<br />
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These are details and suggestions given in All About Raising Children. <a href="http://fascinatingways.blogspot.com/p/where-to-find-books.html" target="_blank">Fascinating Womanhood</a>, by Mrs. Helen Andelin, recommends strategies for creating a peaceful, happy home environment and setting the stage for a husband to come home to this tranquility. After the workday, she is to listen to him rather than offer advice and is not to lay her problems on him until he has had a chance to unwind and talk, if he wishes. After this has been accomplished, however, he will be more receptive to hearing about his wife's and family's needs and challenges.<br />
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Scheduling a weekly meeting allows him to get into the right frame of mind to deal with needs, challenges, plans, and communication with his spouse.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">A tip for wives of men who don't like to plan a particular time for this:</span></b></span><br />
<br />
Wives of men who have not set up a time for this kind of meeting can try making a nicer-than-usual dessert on the day they wish to have a council, then serving it at a time and place when they want to broach certain topics with their husbands.<br />
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It would not be a good idea to bribe him to the table with dessert and then proceed to air complaints and grievances. It might be a good time, however, to ask if he is available to talk about the issues the wife is thinking of. The topics can be prefaced with more amusing news and family plans so that the dessert is a fun event. If he is not immediately available to talk about more serious subjects, she can ask when would be a good time for him.<br />
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The first issue the wife can bring up, when he is available, is the idea that they hold a weekly council meeting. She can see what comes of that discussion while following his lead as much as possible. It is not amiss to give honest reasons why the wife thinks it would be helpful. <br />
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A wife will know her husband best and will have an idea of whether this approach would work.Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-70454465450764239712011-11-28T10:55:00.000-08:002011-11-28T10:55:58.592-08:00Facing Income Loss<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_406709307"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinjcd9jxNmvor7x3KX25S8m4ZZAy7DpjHTD3OpwagzS2XZph54I06QWhaQgc5LJm8UT0Fd7zsOKJCj41bw_j_TMcjK1vJhmEz_p1aRffXZ6qaVbX5KkdoGQ-DJWmutfiD1v6yhn-9sY7sY/s320/BLUnemployment.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://secure.flickr.com/photos/bytemarks/5409428957/" target="_blank">image courtesy of Bytemarks</a></td></tr>
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It is tough on everyone when a husband faces job or income loss. Besides the obvious financial challenge, there is the emotional challenge. He will have emotions to deal with and so will his wife.<br />
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Here are some possible pitfalls of reacting based on emotion:<br />
<ol><li>He or his wife may spend more money as a way of coping with negative feelings.</li>
<li>She may neglect child care and house care due to anxiety and brooding.</li>
<li>Either one may be so discouraged that they stop striving to be the best they can be in daily life.</li>
<li>Negative emotions may make parents more impatient and angry with children.</li>
<li>She may become more easily overwhelmed by clutter and disorganization in the home.</li>
<li>She may become angry and bitter with her husband, blaming the loss of income and feeling of security on him. He is likely to feel the same way about himself, or he may blame some things on his wife.</li>
</ol>Here are some possible solutions to these problems: <br />
<ol><li>To cope with negative feelings, husband and wife should take care to vent them with exercise, prayer, togetherness, and planning things to sell rather than buy.</li>
<li>She can make a plan to use the anxious energy on necessary tasks instead of brooding. For example, she may want to put extra energy into cleaning, organizing, or dancing and playing with her children when she starts to feel unhealthily worried. Scrubbing, wiping, polishing, dusting, and changing bed linens can be therapeutic motions when angry or anxious.</li>
<li>Husband and wife can encourage each other to put their best face on every day. Household tasks can still be done thoroughly; she can make sure to look her best and be cheerful; if job-hunting, he can be encouraged to shower, shave, and dress before beginning that work for the day.</li>
<li>Parents should try very hard to transform negative energy through exercise, prayer, etc., and use their very best parenting skills during this tough time. When they feel tempted to respond angrily to their children, they can take a breath and use the pleasantest voice they can. It might even help to hold both their children's hands in their own or to smooth their hair as they speak. A job loss is not the children's fault. Children cannot be perfect every moment of every day, and they probably sense the strain around the house. This might make them more prone to misbehavior instead of less.</li>
<li>A wife who begins to feel overwhelmed with fear and a sense of chaos can channel her emotions into organizing a garage sale. This will earn the family some extra money and help her clear the clutter that is making her feel disorganized.</li>
<li>Husband and wife should make extra efforts to be kind and loving and admiring with each other. Sincere compliments can be a balm in this time. If either one is feeling angry, they may be able to use a journal to express these feelings, or take a walk and think about them, instead of saying something that may cause long-lasting damage.</li>
<li>This is a good time for a wife to encourage her husband to analyze and implement his career dreams since he is having to start over in a way. At the same time as planning for his future career, he can be pursuing job openings and taking any work that comes up so that there is some income in the meantime.</li>
<li>If she is considering trying to get a job, she should first consider the likely increase in her current work: more time and energy saving money through things like couponing, gardening, making food from scratch, and selling items they don't need; more time providing a soothing, pleasant atmosphere in the home (without spending money); more time making decorations, linens, clothing, etc., rather than buying them, if that saves money; the work of organizing for a move, if they will have to move for a new job; and more time spent educating children (either continuing homeschooling or starting homeschooling if the children's public schooling will be interrupted, on top of preparing the children for the future, especially if there will be big changes in their lives).</li>
</ol>This was an article I found helpful from www.ladiesagainstfeminism.com: <a href="http://www.ladiesagainstfeminism.com/artman/publish/How_to_Get_Back_Home_24/When_Your_Husband_Loses_His_Job_10081001008.shtml" target="_blank">When Your Husband Loses His Job</a> by Mrs. Anita Koller. Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-75339333388283654082011-11-21T06:51:00.000-08:002011-11-21T06:51:59.845-08:00Admiration List<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1473502305"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhfVj2BhcufmUUtUJKDIQs0gCjTvPcbQDcpC4f03I3TL7KaJNTh3chdJn-mUlRcw7MmrpmEGTsbOT6DegCfnxW5LDfwNXEy2QBHhfogZ9VgaShQh6HXDPzrN6_nKtddBS7JEmw-kxe6t2-/s320/BLFWList.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1473502305">image courtesy of </a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1473502305" target="_blank">sunshinecity</a><a href="https://secure.flickr.com/photos/sunshinecity/985725985/" target="_blank"><br />
</a></td></tr>
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It can be helpful to make a habit of reviewing and memorizing your husband's positive attributes. This is an exercise that is best begun when you want to do it least. It changes my whole attitude to my marriage and my life when I do this, and it reminds me of the very many virtues of my husband that I am sometimes in danger of forgetting.<br />
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A book in PDF form called <a href="http://www.healthhouse.co.nz/.../fascinating-womanhood-book-%284mb%29.pdf" target="_blank">Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood </a>included this exercise as an assignment for a fictionalized Fascinating Womanhood course that is described in the book.<br />
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If you are interested in trying this, take a look at the longest list of positive attributes you can find. There is one at the end of Chapter Four of the book linked above, and there is <a href="http://bmindful.com/forum/thread/311/list-of-human-qualities-to-help-you-find-your-purp" target="_blank">one that I have also used here</a>. Write down on a piece of paper, index card, or in a notebook each virtue that you see in your husband. Be honest and try to do it in an objective frame of mind. Banish bitterness before beginning so that you can at least start with a neutral attitude.<br />
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Many women are surprised at the length of the list of virtues that their husband possesses.<br />
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Each morning, or at a time that is good for you, review the list of his good qualities. To add strength to this exercise, begin to memorize the list in amounts that are manageable.Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-25456039881346322132011-10-26T11:47:00.000-07:002011-10-26T11:47:11.459-07:00Fascinating Womanhood ~ Alaska Updated<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://secure.flickr.com/photos/fizzkitten/531426341/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzHYKl6gRyLlgH3Qdsg6s1CgoCPf7irvpL_HA9hiyBp6dRXeSh_Rvr-OCp1NtFG3xfVPK63Ux89YIIYsPUdIcQ5BSpHT148ns4ZHCpNX9IW_WUAh4gpXoGKEe89IVYF0691XZb-BVV_X4A/s320/BLShabbyChicVintage.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">image courtesy of <a href="https://secure.flickr.com/photos/fizzkitten/">RellyAB</a></td></tr>
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This will be no surprise to most if not all of Fascinating Ways' readers, but I will mention it anyway: <a href="http://fascinatingwomanhoodak.com/">Fascinating Womanhood ~ Alaska</a> is up again with new posts as well as some of the previous posts. Since October 17th, posts have been updated on a regular basis. A cause for celebration!Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-69100382811263562822011-10-17T12:34:00.000-07:002011-10-17T12:34:02.837-07:00I Want to Be a Homemaker<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1ygDA0HVXgUPSa6kKQR958se_-qCShXn_aCD77H6HhsYPnHj9HvsOptVU5vYvBqPHGFjPr89b_8b1ZApcDcatQgRmC44ID92ANsl7FtohyqwHgnsEJ-5Pr8id3IGQJ43fVmwrrRplFUXD/s1600/Photo+on+10-17-11+at+1.58+PM+%25232.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1ygDA0HVXgUPSa6kKQR958se_-qCShXn_aCD77H6HhsYPnHj9HvsOptVU5vYvBqPHGFjPr89b_8b1ZApcDcatQgRmC44ID92ANsl7FtohyqwHgnsEJ-5Pr8id3IGQJ43fVmwrrRplFUXD/s320/Photo+on+10-17-11+at+1.58+PM+%25232.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Has anyone seen or read the children's book <i>I Want to Be a Homemaker</i>, by Carla Greene? It was published in 1961 by Childrens Press, and the picture above is one of its illustrations.<br />
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In the book, Jane gets a new playhouse and begins to keep house with her three dolls and her dog. With her mother's help, she learns that a good homemaker is a cook, cleaner, nurse, teacher, and artist.<br />
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This is a precious book with neat, lovely illustrations (by Frances Eckart) that can influence a young girl's heart and mind. Unfortunately, there seem to be only somewhat-pricey editions available at places like Amazon.com, Ebay, and possibly others. None of them are in great condition, either. If you ever see this book, take a look! Anyone who values Mrs. Andelin's books <i>Fascinating Womanhood</i>, <i>The Fascinating Girl</i>, or <i>All About Raising Children</i> will enjoy it.<br />
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When I had just learned to write, my mother and I borrowed this book from the library. I liked it so much I copied it out word for word before we had to return it.<br />
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Fun tidbits about the book:<br />
<ul><li> Part of the text opposite the illustration above is: "'You have made this little house very pretty. Your children will think it is the best place in the world,' said Mother. 'You are an artist!'" This reminds me of the "Space and Privacy" section in Chapter 1 of Mrs. Helen Andelin's book <i>All About Raising Children</i>.</li>
<li>My copy has a sticker on the front free end paper that says, "Please remember to wash your hands before you read this book."</li>
</ul>Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-14770264027813129262011-10-13T09:32:00.000-07:002011-10-17T12:35:34.745-07:00Month 2 (Verse 12): Proverbs 31 Challenge for Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwwc2GIsZ_Ds77GjL6tgjlcMTru9tDdIvzMZePhvmT8pQOF89WbbwL3bepYz8NWRr62TK1kA7_qVayGVimUlFXV7HA8yWTP51nI8kAmyBuroJdfg6jTV2Tqa4VF1n6WIkRDltRsvUxS46t/s1600/FWProvChallenge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwwc2GIsZ_Ds77GjL6tgjlcMTru9tDdIvzMZePhvmT8pQOF89WbbwL3bepYz8NWRr62TK1kA7_qVayGVimUlFXV7HA8yWTP51nI8kAmyBuroJdfg6jTV2Tqa4VF1n6WIkRDltRsvUxS46t/s1600/FWProvChallenge.jpg" /></a></div><br />
It is time to make a Month 2 goal, for anyone who is participating in the Proverbs 31 Challenge for Life. <a href="http://fascinatingways.blogspot.com/2011/08/introduction-to-proverbs-31-challenge.html">Please see this post</a> for the details of this challenge.<br />
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Proverbs 31, verse 12, in the King James Bible says: "She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."<br />
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<a href="http://mhc.biblecommenter.com/proverbs/31.htm">Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary</a> has some interesting thoughts about this chapter in modern words. Regarding this particular verse, it says, "She makes it her constant business to do him good."<br />
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It seems that there are two points made here. One is that she will work proactively to do him good and ensure that she does him no evil. The second point is that she will do this consistently, without stopping, for her whole life. In fact, when translated into English, it seems that she is to do this for the remainder of <i>her</i> life, whether or not he is still living. I may be taking this point too far. However, any children they had together would certainly still fall under her loving care, as would the care for his memory.<br />
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Working proactively to do my husband good is different from trying in a vaguer sense to "be a good wife." Trying to be a good wife is a wonderful goal. Setting myself a specific task that will benefit my husband is more likely to achieve results.<br />
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A caution I have to give myself in this area is to make sure it is something my husband would agree does him good. It should not be something that in my imagination does him good, but in real life may be something distracting, irritating, or irrelevant to him. Any step I take this month will be done in consultation with my husband.<br />
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<i>Fascinating Womanhood</i> is a fantastic book for showing women what things benefit their husbands - that they may not realize - and what things harm them - that again, they may not even realize. <br />
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This is clearly an ongoing challenge. It seems a bit overwhelming to constantly do a husband good (and no harm). It might be that a weekly or monthly meeting between husband and wife could help a wife tread that path. Mrs. Andelin, in her book <i>All About Raising Children</i>, encourages a weekly meeting like this.<br />
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Please feel free to comment with your own goals for the month, or simply to say that you have a goal for this month. As always, anyone is welcome to join in at any time. Of course anyone is free to join without publicly commenting, too.<br />
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Note: I apologize for the lateness of this post. It had been scheduled to post on a specific day, but never did.Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-4959774256480302462011-10-11T10:47:00.000-07:002011-10-11T10:47:09.241-07:00Models of Fascinating WomanhoodTo read about a couple of interesting examples of Fascinating Womanhood from books, see <a href="http://oilofhisgrace.blogspot.com/2011/09/examples-of-fascinating-women-from.html">this post from Oil of His Grace</a>.<br />
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A bonus (to me) was the mention of some of my most beloved books, the <i>Anne of Green Gables</i> series.Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-42045623863645450022011-10-11T07:42:00.000-07:002012-07-16T19:12:20.875-07:00The Importance of Being Whimsical<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_269479555" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd2XAmZPuHEufAPX6eCuvCj53UAWws1QWOxmiR8jbt6-gfp7VCE6Tt4rNTJFf2pFyoNCIFY7lWGO8b6XjbBrKBvZofaGzsqXcJo5gdWgSp-73CBPtFK1awRnd1svQam5od-_6OxziuaE7M/s320/BLWhimsical.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://secure.flickr.com/photos/sr_ard/">"Moody Dog" warning sign: image courtesy of Another Seb</a></td></tr>
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<br />
What is being whimsical, exactly?<br />
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Here are two definitions from Google Dictionary:<br />
<ol style="padding-left: 19px;">
<li style="list-style-type: decimal;">Playfully quaint or fanciful, especially in an appealing and amusing way.</li>
<li style="list-style-type: decimal;">Acting or behaving in a capricious manner.</li>
</ol>
Sounds familiar to fans of Mrs. Helen Andelin, does it not? (See the book <a href="http://fascinatingwomanhood.net/" target="_blank"><i>Fascinating Womanhood</i></a> to find out more about the two sides of an ideal woman.) Playful actions often have a huge appeal for husbands. After a day full of business, details, hard work, or even boring but necessary activities, they appreciate coming home to something more lighthearted. <br />
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We might have capricious ways naturally but try to hide them or suppress them while we do the important work of keeping the home and family healthy and happy. This is a reminder to let changefulness and teasing playfulness come through in our actions sometimes.<br />
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What are some ways to do that?<br />
<ul>
<li>One day, wear a type of outfit you would not normally wear, especially if it is more feminine or colorful than usual.</li>
<li>When you are both relaxed from daily cares, ruffle your husband's hair and say how much you like it all messed up.</li>
<li>Let your husband hear you singing in the shower or at your chores.</li>
<li>When you feel angry at him, really let out your inner child. Stomp your feet, pout, maybe even use a higher voice than normal to say (remember Mrs. Andelin's advice to exaggerate!) just what is the problem. </li>
<li>Flowers are often perceived as whimsical - use them in any way you like. Perhaps you can fill the house with them on occasion.<br />
</li>
</ul>
What are some other ways to be whimsical? Please share in the comments section if you have ideas; sometimes altogether wonderful women have a hard time putting playfulness into their lives.<br />
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<b>Additional resources:</b><br />
<ul>
<li><i>Fascinating Womanhood</i> by Mrs. Helen Andelin (see "Where to Find the Books" at the top of the page for how to get a copy of this book).</li>
<li><a href="http://helpguide.org/mental/eq7_playful_communication.htm">Here is a good article</a> about how to use playfulness in communication.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
</ul>Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-60367317603995070352011-10-04T19:00:00.000-07:002011-10-04T19:00:43.958-07:00A Bowl of Fruit<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvGGCOKNGrtSQ_ZRLdhOaI18bztjImm9r2DvX8S-wgpWfegCMGYFhnrgqToaHk-9oQ7IZDdengzmsUx3GqSupY4n0vbxT0N9IKjsnQ57ET907UCTB8WJYBX2g0ok_XHSuQ-dxIuLKD4Lwk/s1600/SAM_0669.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvGGCOKNGrtSQ_ZRLdhOaI18bztjImm9r2DvX8S-wgpWfegCMGYFhnrgqToaHk-9oQ7IZDdengzmsUx3GqSupY4n0vbxT0N9IKjsnQ57ET907UCTB8WJYBX2g0ok_XHSuQ-dxIuLKD4Lwk/s320/SAM_0669.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Near the top right of this page, there is a picture of a bowl of fruit, similar to the one in the picture above. A bowl of fruit is an apt symbol for a fascinating woman, in some ways:<br />
<ul><li>Both can be cheerful-looking and picturesque.</li>
<li>Both can give pleasure.</li>
<li>Both can enhance people's health.</li>
<li>There is the "fruitful" metaphor in regard to having children.</li>
<li>A home is better for having one in it!</li>
</ul>What do you think? Are there other comparisons to be made? Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-58380945295727429712011-10-03T06:21:00.000-07:002011-10-03T06:21:28.872-07:00Month 1 (Verse 11) Report: Proverbs 31 Challenge for Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWQP_zX3XYMaQf9I-2UJpCRmPbq2R-sfhdTvM12PyPiRAYxAo47Tw147RwGC8O-xwET7thQBh73Aa7wUnb8BgzbmqVXw8cVPoqved75j1hMpxQukbyloxOTTTHTJnkSMVl8PsnjOMKxha-/s1600/FWProvChallenge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWQP_zX3XYMaQf9I-2UJpCRmPbq2R-sfhdTvM12PyPiRAYxAo47Tw147RwGC8O-xwET7thQBh73Aa7wUnb8BgzbmqVXw8cVPoqved75j1hMpxQukbyloxOTTTHTJnkSMVl8PsnjOMKxha-/s1600/FWProvChallenge.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Now that the last week of September is gone, it is time to report on Month 1 (Verse 11) of the Proverbs 31 Challenge here at Fascinating Ways.<br />
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For reference, <a href="http://fascinatingways.blogspot.com/2011/08/introduction-to-proverbs-31-challenge.html">this is the introductory post</a> for the Proverbs 31 Challenge for Life; this is the <a href="http://fascinatingways.blogspot.com/2011/09/month-1-verse-11-proverbs-31-challenge.html">Month 1 (Verse 11) post</a> which also mentions my personal goal. Anyone may join at any time where we are. As the introduction to the challenge said, this is meant to be a long-term journey and not something that is completed in a week, a month, or even a year.<br />
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From Rule #3 of the introductory post, this is an option for reporting progress toward your goal, if you wish to do so:<br />
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"<i>The last week of each month, in response to another prompt here, post your progress toward the goal in the comments section. This can be reported in very general terms to protect the privacy of all involved. Progress can be posted in these terms if you like: Completed; Postponed; Still Working; Canceled; or Not Helpful</i>."<br />
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I will post my own progress in the comments section.Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-9506397771965301262011-09-27T12:46:00.000-07:002011-09-27T12:46:27.359-07:00Is It True? Is It Kind? Is It Necessary?: Proverbs 31 Challenge for Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtSL_ldtfPK9_AQ7aCZZ4oCoAslXRBPsmrF_Mg49LGLwBi2DcB04Bqykwc-nVNU_vIQxAKJtLlJeeGORDnRqXcBl7ZT1JLkloUjBp-sb0BB79OPoyH8GyeRyH56ehcQXzp0GBrGIgZHtMR/s1600/FWProvChallenge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtSL_ldtfPK9_AQ7aCZZ4oCoAslXRBPsmrF_Mg49LGLwBi2DcB04Bqykwc-nVNU_vIQxAKJtLlJeeGORDnRqXcBl7ZT1JLkloUjBp-sb0BB79OPoyH8GyeRyH56ehcQXzp0GBrGIgZHtMR/s1600/FWProvChallenge.jpg" /></a></div> <br />
"Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?" <br />
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I first read this series of questions on a blog post by <a href="http://deannaraybourn.com/">the author Deanna Raybourn</a>. It inspired me at the time, and I think it is helpful for my <a href="http://fascinatingways.blogspot.com/2011/09/month-1-verse-11-proverbs-31-challenge.html">personal Proverbs 31 goal</a> this month. The goal has to do with avoiding gossip so that my husband can trust that I will not gossip about him.<br />
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<a href="http://www.catholicherald.com/stories/Is-it-true-kind-necessary-,14877">This article</a> is a nice anecdote about the way "Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?" can be used with children.<br />
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Trust is the overall theme of the Proverbs 31 Challenge this month. Trust and respect for one another are intertwined. When one respects a spouse, it is easier to trust that the spouse will make decisions that will be good for both people in the relationship. But respect does not insist on that condition. Respect for another human being allows the person to make his or her own decisions whether or not someone else thinks they are good decisions.<br />
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<a href="http://themarriagecounselingblog.com/marriage-counseling/trust-within-the-marriage/">This article about trust</a> in a marriage lists some actions that an untrusting spouse might do, such as checking cell phones or phone records. A first step to repair the lack of trust might be to refrain from those actions, even if it means sitting on one's own hands. A second step could be journaling or talking to a trusted, wise counselor, minister, or friend about the lack of trust.<br />
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There are many snares in the everyday life of a marriage that can lead to distrust. One can easily imagine that one's husband will do a task the wrong way, or not as well as oneself might have done it, or that he will forget it altogether. Too many of these kinds of thoughts in a day does wear on the state of a relationship.<br />
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I like this other filter-question for everyday trust issues: "Which is more important? The way he does that task [or fill in any other doubt] or our love and marriage relationship?"Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-88995350486536193452011-09-25T07:19:00.000-07:002011-09-25T07:19:25.270-07:00Fascinating Womanhood on Television TodayI just saw <i>Fascinating Womanhood</i> (the version with the pink and white cover: 1963) on CBS Sunday Morning.<br />
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Mo Rocca was interviewing Roseanne Barr. I did not see the segment in its entirety, so I can't say how the book came up or was introduced, but I saw him open up the book and read some excerpts such as, "Do not roar at jokes."<br />
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He said, "It seems like you do a lot of these 'don'ts'." They laughed.<br />
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Did anyone else see the segment?Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-43116977732568444242011-09-20T12:27:00.000-07:002011-09-20T12:27:59.766-07:00The Importance of ServiceService takes us outside ourselves so that our lives are not lived inside a very narrow experience. The more engaged we become in service, the more engaged we become with life itself.<br />
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Although we do not want to stay completely within our own limited circumstances, one of the best people we can give service to is our beloved. We feel closer to, and more intimate with, those we serve.<br />
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A marriage can be like a special plant. If the plant is not watered or cared for on some days, it may not die. It may continue to look like it did before. Though its appearance is the same, it has lost some of its resilience because of the lack of attention. It will not be able to live for long without that attention and it is more vulnerable to storms or drought conditions. If it were cared for each and every day, it would have more strength to deal with challenges ahead. Rather than just appearing the same, it really would be the same healthy, growing plant.<br />
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It seems that marriage is perpetually going in one direction or the other: growing, or wilting. Every day that we give it special care, it continues to grow. Every day that we put off giving it attention, it becomes less resistant to troubles and some of the nurtured and beloved feeling slips away.Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-75859879451408112392011-09-17T12:06:00.000-07:002011-09-17T12:06:30.193-07:00Book Review of 168 Hours<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://secure.flickr.com/photos/kojotomoto/2598342665/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgefKhBqgej9alMekCLPvvC4RmbN8aEYeVswIjS2QsFcS3kzCkGy6vrYBWlg1AqRdgeJJOSoNiNwJP1t2uTmEWkHEzt4s2embf-do7VM5Nlv0nQGfOwlR-Yb7JtSgT6TfZGXPw5OGkQAPka/s320/FWClock.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by <a href="https://secure.flickr.com/photos/kojotomoto/">kojotomoto</a> used under Creative Commons license</td></tr>
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The book <a href="http://www.my168hours.com/main/">168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think</a>, by Laura Vanderkam, is not targeted to fascinating women, so readers here may not have read it. It is a well-written book that makes a few good points, but fascinating women will heartily disagree with its premises.<br />
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It is important to note, as Ms. Vanderkam does, that we all choose what we do with each hour of our lives. When we do not do something, it is usually not because we don't have the time. It is because we don't choose to make the time. This doesn't mean we are wrong to choose not to make the time. Ms. Vanderkam emphasizes the importance of planning a decent night's sleep, for example, which is right to do. Most people cannot do their best work when they don't sleep enough; therefore, choosing to use sleep time to do something else is not very effective.<br />
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The author's main ideas of optimizing time and outsourcing inessential tasks (mostly domestic tasks, in her book) are not fascinating-friendly. It is a purposeful and wonderful practice to plan the most important things into our schedule first, and only fit in the less important things if there is time after those most important things are scheduled. Optimizing time in that way is essential for a fulfilled life. However, to try to fit in work, work, and more work does not help a woman to become fascinating.<br />
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Several times throughout the book, Ms. Vanderkam urges her readers to outsource everything that is not a "core competency;" that is, something they can do better than anyone else can. Nurturing their own children is given as an example. It is too bad that quality time before and after work is the time she recommends that they set aside for this. A few people who like to cook are encouraged to try it once or twice a week, but otherwise, she says, it is liberating to hire someone else to cook for the family. Any domestic chore, in her view, is an unfortunate necessity that can be hired out. Laundry, organizing the home, cooking, house cleaning, choosing one's wardrobe, and child care during main working hours are all examples given of things to pay someone else to do.<br />
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First, quality time is not always best when it comes to children. Quantity time can work wonders. Time sitting around while children make mud pies can be just the time needed for a child to be comfortable voicing his or her deep concerns. Parents who "maximize" the time spent with their children by reading to them, going to museums with them, and putting them to bed are doing a few fantastic things with their children. These may make a huge difference in their children's lives. They are not, however, having enough downtime with them to truly relax in their presence and to allow things like deep thoughts to come up the way they do: slowly, inefficiently, when people are comfortable enough or off their guard.<br />
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Second, what will children of these parents learn about domestic chores? What if, sometime in the future, one of these children wants or needs to do some domestic chores on their own? They will have to start from scratch, with no knowledge of how these things are done and no memory of seeing them being done. This includes such life-sustaining basics as cooking, vacuuming, and getting clothing clean.<br />
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Third, isn't there something to be said for having done certain things with one's own hands for one's family? Is it just symbolic, or is there some deeper need being fulfilled when a mother washes dishes, mends clothing, sorts toys, and cooks dinner with her own two hands?<br />
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Perhaps some people can be the parents they yearn to be while using the optimization process shown in <i>168 Hours</i>. One topic that is barely mentioned in the book is how to maintain a good marriage. There are a few sentences about trying to schedule a weekly date night with one's spouse. Another sentence mentions that, of course, one's spouse might "sabotage" these weekly date nights by insisting he needs to work during those hours. Who can blame him when the rest of the spouse's time is organized around being able to work more so that there is plenty of money to outsource all the tasks that need to be done at home? Besides the argument that quality time is not enough for children - they absolutely need quantity time, too - there is this objection: Especially in a marriage, there are some other things in the home that should never be outsourced.<br />
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One can live any kind of life using the process in <i>168 Hours</i>. Ms. Vanderkam has free time management spreadsheets available for download at <a href="http://my168hours.com/">her 168 Hours website</a>. Anyone can track the way she spends her time using these spreadsheets. Then she can make decisions and plan her time based on her own deep values. I do think that fascinating women will disagree with a lot of Ms. Vanderkam's examples of how to optimize their time.Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-27120153071932094262011-09-15T03:50:00.000-07:002011-09-15T03:50:09.916-07:00The Role of Religion in Fascinating Womanhood<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://secure.flickr.com/photos/loop_oh/5586331616/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKfkcFYr-dJy9E1fmzLvfE1D6xbK6cTCYzsNJeoMpyUIv3cMZUSgk9kvP4uPXlHRW0I0mcSphCkN6dHIXVX3rKr1alcEgCFtT6jC4TrY-OIG3oWprJqausA2OnO21EpmiE04qVm7sYFwFM/s320/FWReligion.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image courtesy of <a href="https://secure.flickr.com/photos/loop_oh/">loop_oh</a>, under Creative Commons license</td></tr>
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Mrs. Andelin wrote that Fascinating Womanhood was "for women of all faiths." It was not meant to uphold any one denomination or religion but to uphold a way of living and thinking that she believed to be the key to successful marriage. On the <a href="http://www.fascinatingwomanhood.net/">official Fascinating Womanhood website</a>, under Past Months and Questions and Answers, March 2002, she said: "I wrote FW to all women everywhere, regardless of their beliefs."<br />
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One may get a sense from her writings that she herself had great faith and that she thought it was extremely important, to put it mildly. However, in her advice to readers asking about church and religion issues, she did not say that they should put church above everything else. She was quite clear that the husband should be the spiritual leader of the family. Often, there were questions from readers asking what to do if the husband did not spiritually lead the family, did not have religious faith, or led the family in what the wife considered to be the wrong direction.<br />
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Reading her answers on <a href="http://www.fascinatingwomanhood.net/">the Fascinating Womanhood website</a>, we see at least three categories of answers.<br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-size: large;"><b>1: Who Takes the Responsibility?</b></span><br />
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In this area as in other areas of leadership, the woman should not "pick up the bucket" of responsibility because her husband will then "set it down." This is something to seriously consider in the area of a family's spiritual life.<br />
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She counseled women in some circumstances who had strong religious practices or beliefs - different from what their husbands decided for their families - to follow their husbands even at great cost. If the husband, for example, decides that they will not give money to the church, his wife should abide by his decision.<br />
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Regarding a husband's decision to leave a particular church that was important to a woman, Mrs. Andelin said: "If you can build a truly loving, happy marriage with happy children you can be happy anywhere." <br />
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<div style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>2: Respect Religious Freedom</b></span></div><br />
Each person has religious freedom that should be respected. The husband, if he believes things the woman doesn't agree with, practices his religion differently than the woman believes right, or has a lack of spiritual belief, has the right to believe, do, and have these things no matter what the woman's opinion.<br />
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Women may have their own religious beliefs and attend church even when the husband does not. When it does not conflict with the husband's leadership, church attendance and religious beliefs can be incredible sources of strength, love, and hope.<br />
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Many readers of Fascinating Womanhood are Christian or devout believers of another faith. One reader asked if Fascinating Womanhood applied to her as a non-believer. In Mrs. Andelin's words, from the same source as above: "They, however, should recognize and respect your right to believe differently."<br />
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On the other hand, she repeatedly advised turning to the Holy Spirit, to God, to church, to prayer, to sacred music when women were having difficulties in their lives.<br />
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<div style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>3: Try Making Him Happy</b></span></div><br />
On more than one occasion, she also said things like, "Instead of making him over, try making him happy." She did not believe that a woman would fall away from God by following her husband's leadership or preferences instead of her own.<br />
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The principles here are to ask advice rather than taking a stand on religious practices, to accept him rather than trying to change him, to allow him his freedom of belief and behavior, and to put him first rather than second, third, or even lower down in importance.Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-1565735213210066842011-09-07T12:22:00.000-07:002011-09-07T12:22:48.828-07:00Dear ReadersDear Readers and Fascinating Women,<br />
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I am afraid there won't be a new post for the blog for about a week while my family deals with an accidental injury to a family member. Thank you so much for understanding, and I will see you here soon.<br />
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Sincerely,<br />
KristyKristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4794279303705226829.post-58560180227443602542011-09-05T14:54:00.000-07:002011-09-05T14:54:07.934-07:00Month 1 (Verse 11): Proverbs 31 Challenge for Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYzAhyfu0ubWH6VHACgpvcDyjPqNo6Zuyuw31xspDf-38HGBClpf8kDiFzYmJ6MmG9d29ZgbQciae5iDbRaPEQ4iKGWQXYDK0X47ObwgHV4T0L4MhKxIEh0bBy4H2IxTgfdfACwAIjObeH/s1600/FWProvChallenge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYzAhyfu0ubWH6VHACgpvcDyjPqNo6Zuyuw31xspDf-38HGBClpf8kDiFzYmJ6MmG9d29ZgbQciae5iDbRaPEQ4iKGWQXYDK0X47ObwgHV4T0L4MhKxIEh0bBy4H2IxTgfdfACwAIjObeH/s1600/FWProvChallenge.jpg" /></a></div> <br />
It is time to make a Month 1 goal, for anyone who is participating in the Proverbs 31 Challenge for Life. <a href="http://fascinatingways.blogspot.com/2011/08/introduction-to-proverbs-31-challenge.html">Please see this post</a> for the details of this challenge.<br />
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Proverbs 31, verse 11, in the King James Bible says: "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil."<br />
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<a href="http://mhc.biblecommenter.com/proverbs/31.htm">Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary</a> has some interesting thoughts about this chapter in modern words.<br />
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For this month, my personal goal will focus on the idea of trust, and the related Fascinating Womanhood concept of discretion and acceptance. A fascinating woman accepts her husband, does not say anything critical that would be hurtful, and in addition, does not gossip or say critical things of others. If she did, it would imply that she might say these kind of things about her husband in the presence of others. Trust would be impaired between them.<br />
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My personal goal will be to keep from saying anything critical and to keep from gossiping during this month. If we speak about other people, I will try to be sure that everything I say is in the best interest of everyone involved.<br />
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Please feel free to comment with your own goals for the month, or simply to say that you have a goal for this month. Anyone is welcome to join in at any time.Kristy Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10894813104134810960noreply@blogger.com1