Introduction to a Proverbs 31 Challenge for Life

Many women find benefit in trying to model themselves after the words of Proverbs 31, especially verses 11-31. Fascinating Womanhood principles can align with the Proverbs 31 advice as long as a woman has enough energy, time, and resources to look after her family wonderfully well while also being very involved in the larger community.

Have you ever tried to follow the standard of the Proverbs 31 woman? Have you ever fallen short?

It can be a lifelong goal to reach this standard, not a quick commitment and task list. A cycle of revisiting and studying topics that pertain to a lifelong goal can be helpful. Mrs. Wayne Hunter, authorized Fascinating Womanhood teacher, mentioned advice that was given her: to read one chapter of Proverbs each day of the month - Proverbs 1 on the 1st of the month, Proverbs 2 on the 2nd of the month, and so on.

Blogs and websites often pose helpful challenges that inspire people to strive for a particular goal. They can be short-lived, however, once the hype wears off and the fatigue of following a new plan sets in.

Fascinating Ways will host a Proverbs 31 Challenge for Life for anyone who would like to join in. It will differ from other online challenges in targeting very long-term goals rather than trying to check off one goal per day or per week. Let's take one applicable verse per year as a long-term goal, because the journey toward each aspect of a Proverbs 31 woman could easily take a year or more.

The Rules:

1. Comment below this post to show that you are also committing to this challenge.

2. Once a month, in response to a prompt here on the Fascinating Ways blog, make a new monthly goal that relates to the verse-for-the-year.

Post a comment about the new goal, keeping it as general as necessary to feel comfortable sharing it. (For example: "I am going to bake one loaf of bread each week this month and do one other difficult task that I have decided on.")

3. The last week of each month, in response to another prompt here, post your progress toward the goal in the comments section. This can be reported in very general terms to protect the privacy of all involved.

Progress can be posted in these terms if you like: Completed; Postponed; Still Working; Canceled; or Not Helpful.

4. If enough people let me know that they would like to chat about them in more detail in a smaller, more secure setting, we can start an email group for the purpose.

5. Resources, links, or tips that pertain to the topic will be posted once a month. Please chime in with the same if you find something that fits.

6. Join in anytime! I will post my own responses either in the post or in the comments section, and whether you do it publicly or privately, feel free to use this the way it works for you (if at all).

There are three cautions to be raised here:

1.) The attitude, or spirit, in which things are done makes all the difference between genuine change and a temporary facade. To check off items on a Proverbs 31 checklist does not guarantee that a person has internalized and lived the meaning of the verses. Verses in the Bible, especially taken singly, can also be misinterpreted.

2.) Fascinating Womanhood is not religion-specific. A woman does not have to follow any specific Christian teachings in order to become a fascinating woman. The Proverbs 31 Challenge for Life should be taken at its value for each reader, which will vary for different people.

3.) I have no training in biblical studies but will look up some of the different interpretations of the verses as I post about them; for example, at bible.cc. Other opinions and thoughts are very welcome! As for every other topic, I ask that comments be courteous and relevant.

Welcome to Fascinating Womanhood~Alaska Readers

Welcome to all readers coming here from Fascinating Womanhood~Alaska! I was saddened to hear the blog would not be continuing and would love to hear from any of you who have benefited from Mrs. Hunter's knowledge of and devotion to Fascinating Womanhood.

Please feel free to leave courteous comments about what you would like to see posted on this blog or anything else relevant and appropriate.

Let us explore together the fascinating ways that can bring us further down the path to total fascinating womanhood.

"Satisfied with the Crumbs"

In Fascinating Womanhood, Mrs. Helen Andelin notes that most married people are "satisfied with the crumbs from the table," not knowing that there is a full marital banquet available to them.

People are doing pretty well these days to say that they don't argue (much) and remain faithful to each other. But how well is pretty well? Comparing themselves to other couples, they may seem to be doing great. Comparing makes for a relative standard, though; it doesn't guarantee any kind of quality.

This is what eating the crumbs looks like: Being relatively happy, avoiding noticeable problems, and sometimes laughing together. Not doing even as well as that might be compared to slowly starving to death.

Can we imagine something better? Can we picture the whole banquet laid out on the table? Picturing something more than crumbs may be the first step.

What is the banquet like?

In relationship, it includes adoration. It includes acceptance of the husband as he is, but also a cherishing of him as a real person and a protecting, adoring partner in this world. It includes a feeling of being soul mates or two people who were meant for each other. It allows each person to feel as if they have a sacred role to play in the relationship; as if no one else could do or would ever be allowed to do what each does for the other. It has a feeling of eternity about it.

Sometimes these things can only be known by glimpses. It is hard to find role models of this type of relationship, but it can often be recognized when it is seen. We may all have at least one relationship in mind that appears to be more inspired, more devoted than other marriages.

It is also hard to find examples of this type of relationship in media. Movies and TV shows are more often characterized by disrespectful interactions than respectful ones. (In the comments section, please leave any examples that you can think of that show such a relationship.)

Mrs. Andelin pointed to Emma and Scarecrow and Mrs. King as examples, among others. The overarching message of Fascinating Womanhood, however, is that it must be lived. Each day it must be lived in all aspects or the banquet will not appear.

Are Fascinating Women Like Stepford Wives?

It depends on the definitions of the two terms. The first term, fascinating woman, in this context refers to a woman who is studying and applying the whole of Mrs. Helen Andelin’s book Fascinating Womanhood. She is not picking and choosing parts from it but is endeavoring to apply it all with a right spirit, the spirit of truly admiring, appreciating, adoring, and respecting her husband.

People have used the term Stepford wife with many different meanings. Some use it to refer to perfect-looking wives who obviously spend a lot of time on beauty, fitness, and the appearance of their home and family. Some use it to mean the above, plus a total submission to men, firstly the husband but also an attitude and spirit of subservience to all men and boys.

There is a tendency for people interested in the topic of being a Stepford wife to think of it as an appealing game. Some may want to look the part more than anything else, and some may want a formula to follow that tells them just what to listen to, read, watch, say, buy, and do at different hours of the day and night.

Fascinating Womanhood emphasizes a balance between ideal spiritual characteristics and ideal human (or feminine, or even flirtatious) characteristics to become the kind of wife a husband needs. The transformation into a fascinating woman brings a wife and her husband together in the true, idyllic love that most people yearn for but do not have. Not only physical work but also spiritual or character work goes into this process.

Many of the particulars of trying to live according to Fascinating Womanhood and trying to live like a Stepford wife complement each other. Fascinating women work on their appearance as one part of a whole ideal, while Stepford wives have almost a rule book to follow in terms of appearance. Stepford wives must be submissive to men (unless they are only trying to become a Stepford wife in outward appearance), and fascinating women respond to and encourage the authority of their husbands.

In fact, a fascinating woman and a Stepford wife can be very similar to each other and have many of the same goals. Both put their marriage first.

The final rule for whether a person is following Mrs. Andelin’s Fascinating Womanhood principles is whether she puts her whole heart, attitude, and mind toward them or simply tries to follow a list of attributes and tasks.

There is much more to say about the comparisons and contrasts between fascinating women and Stepford wives that will be continued in other posts.