It depends on the definitions of the two terms. The first term, fascinating woman, in this context refers to a woman who is studying and applying the whole of Mrs. Helen Andelin’s book Fascinating Womanhood. She is not picking and choosing parts from it but is endeavoring to apply it all with a right spirit, the spirit of truly admiring, appreciating, adoring, and respecting her husband.
People have used the term Stepford wife with many different meanings. Some use it to refer to perfect-looking wives who obviously spend a lot of time on beauty, fitness, and the appearance of their home and family. Some use it to mean the above, plus a total submission to men, firstly the husband but also an attitude and spirit of subservience to all men and boys.
There is a tendency for people interested in the topic of being a Stepford wife to think of it as an appealing game. Some may want to look the part more than anything else, and some may want a formula to follow that tells them just what to listen to, read, watch, say, buy, and do at different hours of the day and night.
Fascinating Womanhood emphasizes a balance between ideal spiritual characteristics and ideal human (or feminine, or even flirtatious) characteristics to become the kind of wife a husband needs. The transformation into a fascinating woman brings a wife and her husband together in the true, idyllic love that most people yearn for but do not have. Not only physical work but also spiritual or character work goes into this process.
Many of the particulars of trying to live according to Fascinating Womanhood and trying to live like a Stepford wife complement each other. Fascinating women work on their appearance as one part of a whole ideal, while Stepford wives have almost a rule book to follow in terms of appearance. Stepford wives must be submissive to men (unless they are only trying to become a Stepford wife in outward appearance), and fascinating women respond to and encourage the authority of their husbands.
In fact, a fascinating woman and a Stepford wife can be very similar to each other and have many of the same goals. Both put their marriage first.
The final rule for whether a person is following Mrs. Andelin’s Fascinating Womanhood principles is whether she puts her whole heart, attitude, and mind toward them or simply tries to follow a list of attributes and tasks.
There is much more to say about the comparisons and contrasts between fascinating women and Stepford wives that will be continued in other posts.