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| Image courtesy of loop_oh, under Creative Commons license |
Mrs. Andelin wrote that Fascinating Womanhood was "for women of all faiths." It was not meant to uphold any one denomination or religion but to uphold a way of living and thinking that she believed to be the key to successful marriage. On the
official Fascinating Womanhood website, under Past Months and Questions and Answers, March 2002, she said: "I wrote FW to all women everywhere, regardless of their beliefs."
One may get a sense from her writings that she herself had great faith and that she thought it was extremely important, to put it mildly. However, in her advice to readers asking about church and religion issues, she did not say that they should put church above everything else. She was quite clear that the husband should be the spiritual leader of the family. Often, there were questions from readers asking what to do if the husband did not spiritually lead the family, did not have religious faith, or led the family in what the wife considered to be the wrong direction.
Reading her answers on
the Fascinating Womanhood website, we see at least three categories of answers.
1: Who Takes the Responsibility?
In this area as in other areas of leadership, the woman should not "pick up the bucket" of responsibility because her husband will then "set it down." This is something to seriously consider in the area of a family's spiritual life.
She counseled women in some circumstances who had strong religious practices or beliefs - different from what their husbands decided for their families - to follow their husbands even at great cost. If the husband, for example, decides that they will not give money to the church, his wife should abide by his decision.
Regarding a husband's decision to leave a particular church that was important to a woman, Mrs. Andelin said: "If you can build a truly loving, happy marriage with happy children you can be happy anywhere."
2: Respect Religious Freedom
Each person has religious freedom that should be respected. The husband, if he believes things the woman doesn't agree with, practices his religion differently than the woman believes right, or has a lack of spiritual belief, has the right to believe, do, and have these things no matter what the woman's opinion.
Women may have their own religious beliefs and attend church even when the husband does not. When it does not conflict with the husband's leadership, church attendance and religious beliefs can be incredible sources of strength, love, and hope.
Many readers of Fascinating Womanhood are Christian or devout believers of another faith. One reader asked if Fascinating Womanhood applied to her as a non-believer. In Mrs. Andelin's words, from the same source as above: "They, however, should recognize and respect your right to believe differently."
On the other hand, she repeatedly advised turning to the Holy Spirit, to God, to church, to prayer, to sacred music when women were having difficulties in their lives.
3: Try Making Him Happy
On more than one occasion, she also said things like, "Instead of making him over, try making him happy." She did not believe that a woman would fall away from God by following her husband's leadership or preferences instead of her own.
The principles here are to ask advice rather than taking a stand on religious practices, to accept him rather than trying to change him, to allow him his freedom of belief and behavior, and to put him first rather than second, third, or even lower down in importance.
