Admiration List

image courtesy of sunshinecity

It can be helpful to make a habit of reviewing and memorizing your husband's positive attributes. This is an exercise that is best begun when you want to do it least. It changes my whole attitude to my marriage and my life when I do this, and it reminds me of the very many virtues of my husband that I am sometimes in danger of forgetting.

A book in PDF form called Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood included this exercise as an assignment for a fictionalized Fascinating Womanhood course that is described in the book.

If you are interested in trying this, take a look at the longest list of positive attributes you can find. There is one at the end of Chapter Four of the book linked above, and there is one that I have also used here. Write down on a piece of paper, index card, or in a notebook each virtue that you see in your husband. Be honest and try to do it in an objective frame of mind. Banish bitterness before beginning so that you can at least start with a neutral attitude.

Many women are surprised at the length of the list of virtues that their husband possesses.

Each morning, or at a time that is good for you, review the list of his good qualities. To add strength to this exercise, begin to memorize the list in amounts that are manageable.

Are Fascinating Women Like Stepford Wives?

It depends on the definitions of the two terms. The first term, fascinating woman, in this context refers to a woman who is studying and applying the whole of Mrs. Helen Andelin’s book Fascinating Womanhood. She is not picking and choosing parts from it but is endeavoring to apply it all with a right spirit, the spirit of truly admiring, appreciating, adoring, and respecting her husband.

People have used the term Stepford wife with many different meanings. Some use it to refer to perfect-looking wives who obviously spend a lot of time on beauty, fitness, and the appearance of their home and family. Some use it to mean the above, plus a total submission to men, firstly the husband but also an attitude and spirit of subservience to all men and boys.

There is a tendency for people interested in the topic of being a Stepford wife to think of it as an appealing game. Some may want to look the part more than anything else, and some may want a formula to follow that tells them just what to listen to, read, watch, say, buy, and do at different hours of the day and night.

Fascinating Womanhood emphasizes a balance between ideal spiritual characteristics and ideal human (or feminine, or even flirtatious) characteristics to become the kind of wife a husband needs. The transformation into a fascinating woman brings a wife and her husband together in the true, idyllic love that most people yearn for but do not have. Not only physical work but also spiritual or character work goes into this process.

Many of the particulars of trying to live according to Fascinating Womanhood and trying to live like a Stepford wife complement each other. Fascinating women work on their appearance as one part of a whole ideal, while Stepford wives have almost a rule book to follow in terms of appearance. Stepford wives must be submissive to men (unless they are only trying to become a Stepford wife in outward appearance), and fascinating women respond to and encourage the authority of their husbands.

In fact, a fascinating woman and a Stepford wife can be very similar to each other and have many of the same goals. Both put their marriage first.

The final rule for whether a person is following Mrs. Andelin’s Fascinating Womanhood principles is whether she puts her whole heart, attitude, and mind toward them or simply tries to follow a list of attributes and tasks.

There is much more to say about the comparisons and contrasts between fascinating women and Stepford wives that will be continued in other posts.