Facing Income Loss

image courtesy of Bytemarks

It is tough on everyone when a husband faces job or income loss. Besides the obvious financial challenge, there is the emotional challenge. He will have emotions to deal with and so will his wife.

Here are some possible pitfalls of reacting based on emotion:

1. He or his wife may spend more money as a way of coping with negative feelings.
2. She may neglect child care and house care due to anxiety and brooding.
3. Either one may be so discouraged that they stop striving to be the best they can be in daily life.
4. Negative emotions may make parents more impatient and angry with children.
5. She may become more easily overwhelmed by clutter and disorganization in the home.
6. She may become angry and bitter with her husband, blaming the loss of income and feeling of security on him. He is likely to feel the same way about himself, or he may blame some things on his wife.

Here are some possible solutions to these problems:

1. To cope with negative feelings, husband and wife should take care to vent them with exercise, prayer, togetherness, and planning things to sell rather than buy.
2. She can make a plan to use the anxious energy on necessary tasks instead of brooding. For example, she may want to put extra energy into cleaning, organizing, or dancing and playing with her children when she starts to feel unhealthily worried. Scrubbing, wiping, polishing, dusting, and changing bed linens can be therapeutic motions when angry or anxious.
3. Husband and wife can encourage each other to put their best face on every day. Household tasks can still be done thoroughly; she can make sure to look her best and be cheerful; if job-hunting, he can be encouraged to shower, shave, and dress before beginning that work for the day.
4. Parents should try very hard to transform negative energy through exercise, prayer, etc., and use their very best parenting skills during this tough time. When they feel tempted to respond angrily to their children, they can take a breath and use the pleasantest voice they can. It might even help to hold both their children's hands in their own or to smooth their hair as they speak. A job loss is not the children's fault. Children cannot be perfect every moment of every day, and they probably sense the strain around the house. This might make them more prone to misbehavior instead of less.
5. A wife who begins to feel overwhelmed with fear and a sense of chaos can channel her emotions into organizing a garage sale. This will earn the family some extra money and help her clear the clutter that is making her feel disorganized.
6. Husband and wife should make extra efforts to be kind and loving and admiring with each other. Sincere compliments can be a balm in this time. If either one is feeling angry, they may be able to use a journal to express these feelings, or take a walk and think about them, instead of saying something that may cause long-lasting damage.
7. This is a good time for a wife to encourage her husband to analyze and implement his career dreams since he is having to start over in a way. At the same time as planning for his future career, he can be pursuing job openings and taking any work that comes up so that there is some income in the meantime.
8. If she is considering trying to get a job, she should first consider the likely increase in her current work: more time and energy saving money through things like couponing, gardening, making food from scratch, and selling items they don't need; more time providing a soothing, pleasant atmosphere in the home (without spending money); more time making decorations, linens, clothing, etc., rather than buying them, if that saves money; the work of organizing for a move, if they will have to move for a new job; and more time spent educating children (either continuing homeschooling or starting homeschooling if the children's public schooling will be interrupted, on top of preparing the children for the future, especially if there will be big changes in their lives).

This was an article I found helpful from www.ladiesagainstfeminism.com: When Your Husband Loses His Job by Mrs. Anita Koller.