The most recent post in the Proverbs 31 Challenge for Life mentioned that weekly husband-and-wife meetings could be helpful to a wife seeking to support her husband, doing him "good and not evil all the days of her life."
What would a husband-and-wife meeting look like? There is an example given in All About Raising Children, written by Mrs. Helen Andelin.
In All About Raising Children, Mrs. Andelin suggested parents hold weekly meetings between husband and wife, with no children present. Following are some of the details she mentioned about such meetings.
When to Do It:
The meeting takes place at a regularly scheduled time and day of the week. Sunday evening is mentioned as an example, and seems to work well for many families for whom Sunday is a traditional time to prepare for the coming school and work week.
What to Do During It:
During the meeting, both husband and wife can discuss plans and challenges for the family. They can also air any complaints or differences they have between them. Honest speaking and careful, objective listening allow husband and wife to come to unity while they are in private. Then they can present a united front to the children.
Why Do It?
Coming to unity should be done in private so that children don't have the unsettling feeling that no one is in charge of the family. Children should not have to worry about the topics of their parents' fights, and they should never be asked to take sides in a parents' conflict. Even if they are not asked to take sides, they will feel extremely conflicted when they are exposed to these disagreements.
These are details and suggestions given in All About Raising Children. Fascinating Womanhood, by Mrs. Helen Andelin, recommends strategies for creating a peaceful, happy home environment and setting the stage for a husband to come home to this tranquility. After the workday, she is to listen to him rather than offer advice and is not to lay her problems on him until he has had a chance to unwind and talk, if he wishes. After this has been accomplished, however, he will be more receptive to hearing about his wife's and family's needs and challenges.
Scheduling a weekly meeting allows him to get into the right frame of mind to deal with needs, challenges, plans, and communication with his spouse.
A tip for wives of men who don't like to plan a particular time for this:
Wives of men who have not set up a time for this kind of meeting can try making a nicer-than-usual dessert on the day they wish to have a council, then serving it at a time and place when they want to broach certain topics with their husbands.
It would not be a good idea to bribe him to the table with dessert and then proceed to air complaints and grievances. It might be a good time, however, to ask if he is available to talk about the issues the wife is thinking of. The topics can be prefaced with more amusing news and family plans so that the dessert is a fun event. If he is not immediately available to talk about more serious subjects, she can ask when would be a good time for him.
The first issue the wife can bring up, when he is available, is the idea that they hold a weekly council meeting. She can see what comes of that discussion while following his lead as much as possible. It is not amiss to give honest reasons why the wife thinks it would be helpful.
A wife will know her husband best and will have an idea of whether this approach would work.
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