Is It True? Is It Kind? Is It Necessary?: Proverbs 31 Challenge for Life

 
"Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?"

I first read this series of questions on a blog post by the author Deanna Raybourn. It inspired me at the time, and I think it is helpful for my personal Proverbs 31 goal this month. The goal has to do with avoiding gossip so that my husband can trust that I will not gossip about him.

This article is a nice anecdote about the way "Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?" can be used with children.

Trust is the overall theme of the Proverbs 31 Challenge this month. Trust and respect for one another are intertwined. When one respects a spouse, it is easier to trust that the spouse will make decisions that will be good for both people in the relationship. But respect does not insist on that condition. Respect for another human being allows the person to make his or her own decisions whether or not someone else thinks they are good decisions.

This article about trust in a marriage lists some actions that an untrusting spouse might do, such as checking cell phones or phone records. A first step to repair the lack of trust might be to refrain from those actions, even if it means sitting on one's own hands. A second step could be journaling or talking to a trusted, wise counselor, minister, or friend about the lack of trust.

There are many snares in the everyday life of a marriage that can lead to distrust. One can easily imagine that one's husband will do a task the wrong way, or not as well as oneself might have done it, or that he will forget it altogether. Too many of these kinds of thoughts in a day does wear on the state of a relationship.

I like this other filter-question for everyday trust issues: "Which is more important? The way he does that task [or fill in any other doubt] or our love and marriage relationship?"